Chapter 17
by Dan Kirk
I was lying on the ground with a sharp pain in my midsection. My ears were ringing from the force my head had hit the grass with, despite the helmet, and it was hard to even breath at the moment. It was the last practice before our Championship game, and we were only wearing shoulder pads and helmets instead of full gear, and we most definitely were not supposed to be hitting each other this hard.
“Jones, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Coach Cole snarled as he reached me and knelt down. Davey stood over me, probably glaring daggers at me like he’d done every time we’d seen each other for the last few months. Part of me had hoped he’d not play after all, and another part wanted to quit the team, but he was there and I wouldn’t quit just because of him.
“Sorry coach.” Davey said around his mouth guard before turning and walking away.
“You okay, Breckenridge?” Coach asked as he helped me sit up.
“Just got the breath knocked out of me.” I said weakly.
“What is it between you two?” Cole asked me with real concern. “Last semester you two couldn’t be pried apart with a crowbar.”
“Yeah, well, things change.” I said as I got to my feet. Coach had to support me as I limped to the sidelines and Brandon went in to take my place.
Two hours later I was pulling into the driveway of Davey’s house. I hadn’t been there since that day he’d ended our relationship to keep his mother from figuring out he was gay. If I had any choice, I wouldn’t be here now.
“Yes?” The Housekeeper, a middle-aged Mexican woman asked when I rang the doorbell.
“I’m Brian, Brenda’s son.” I said holding the box Mom had asked me to pick up at the airport.
“Oh yes, come in.” The woman said with a slight smile. “She’s in the office. I’ll show you the way.”
“I know it.” I said grimly. It felt weird being in here, like I was an interloper. At least Davey wasn’t here.
Neither was my mother, I discovered as I entered the room that had once been President Jones’s study. Davey’s mother was in there alone, doing some paperwork.
“Brian!” She exclaimed with a smile as I entered. “Good, you got it. Why don’t you put it over there on the table?”
“Sure, Mrs. Jones.” I said softly as she pointed to a side table. I put the box down, wiping my hands on my jeans and turned, preparing to leave.
“How have you been, Brian?” She asked me before I could escape.
“I’ve been well, ma’am.” I said simply, hoping she’d let it go at that.
“I haven’t seen you in ages.” She said and I realized I was in for the full questioning.
“I’ve been busy.” I said softly.
“That’s what Davey’s said.” She stated with a frown. “He’s been miserable, you know. He won’t tell me what caused you boys to fight.”
“It’s a guy thing.” I said quickly and she frowned.
“I haven’t seen that Sean boy around here much, either.” She said. “Did that have something to do with it? I thought it was agreed it would be okay if he came over as long as he didn’t… do anything.”
“He isn’t comfortable over here.” I said, hoping this was a way to get her to let me go. “I think he knows he’s not really wanted over here and he’s nice enough to not push himself where he’s not wanted.”
“I see.” She said with a deeper frown. “You know that had nothing to do with you, right? I’d hate to think that Davey’s best friend abandoned him because of something his mother said.”
“I…uh…” I stammered, not able to find anything to say that wasn’t a lie or too close to the truth.
“You know that Davey does miss you, don’t you?” She asked. “I mean, he’s been doing poorly in school without someone to study with, and all those girls he’s been dating haven’t done much to help him concentrate on his books. I’m starting to worry he might not be able to get into a good school if he keeps this up.”
“With all due respect, that’s his problem.” I said a little more forcefully than I should have. Davey had dumped Julie two weeks into the school year, and was now dating Heather, one of the cheerleaders running for Homecoming Queen. Davey was rumored to be the favorite for King this year.
“Why are you so angry with him, then?” She asked directly. “After everything he went through where you supported him, I can’t understand why you would turn your back on him when he’s finally getting his life put together.”
“Maybe because I disagree with how he’s going about doing that.” I said with a shrug. It was time this conversation ended. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some more errands to run. It was nice seeing you again.”
“Don’t be such a stranger, Brian.” She murmured as I left the room. Unfortunately I didn’t make it out of the house in time, because Davey was walking in with Riley from the football team, and both Heather and Riley’s girlfriend, Marsha were following behind.
“Oh, hi.” Davey said as he saw me in the entranceway.
“I was just leaving.” I said shortly and moved to push my way through them, garnering a glare from Riley and a look of confusion between the two girls.
“What is it with him?” I heard Heather ask from behind.
“Brian, wait!” Davey called out before I’d gone three steps to my car. He said something under his breath to the others and shut the door behind him as he caught up with me. “I’m sorry about the hit today. It was wrong of me.”
“Apology accepted.” I said simply, not looking at him.
“Is that all you have to say?” He asked in a hurt tone.
“What else is there to say?” I asked him. “You made it quite clear already. You don’t want to risk your mom knowing about what used to be between us, I don’t want to live a lie, watching you make out with some girl all the time.”
“It doesn’t have to be this way.” Davey said in a hurt voice. “I miss you.”
“You’re right, it doesn’t have to be this way.” I said turning around to look at him. He looked shocked by the anger in my eyes. “You chose your path, I chose mine.”
“Are you and Todd really going out or is it just to make me jealous?” He asked.
“We’re planning on going to Arizona State together.” I said with a shrug.
“Why?” He asked with a frown.
“You remember my plan for the future?” I asked him and he nodded. “Well after the incident at the mall, I decided I could trust him and I told him everything. He’s going to help me, and that’s why we’re going to Arizona State. It’s part of the plan.”
“I was going to help you…” Davey’s voice drifted off and his hurt look deepened. “You know, this is just until after high school, or maybe after college, once I don’t need Mom’s support anymore. We can get back together then.”
“Have you fucked any of those girls yet?” I asked him pointedly and he blanched.
“Have you fucked Todd yet?” He demanded of me.
“No, we’re good friends, not lovers.” I replied. “Todd wants more, and who knows, maybe after you’re out of my life once and for all, I might like him that way, but for now, no.”
“I haven’t had sex with any of the girls.” Davey said softly and there were tears in his eyes. “That’s why I keep breaking up with them. They want to go further than I’m willing.”
“Just how far are you willing to go with them?” I snapped, not really wanting to know the answer.
“Julie’s the only one to get so far as her hands down my pants.” Davey said defiantly, as if daring me to disbelieve him.
“Why not?” I asked him.
“Do you really have to ask that?” His voice quaked slightly.
“Yes.” I answered.
“Because I’m still in love with you and I don’t want anyone but you!” He nearly shouted, and then looked horrified at how loud he’d reacted. With fear, he looked around and only relaxed slightly when he realized no one was around. When he turned back to me, he looked slightly ashamed, but also determined to say something. “Why? Brian, why did you react like this?”
“If you love someone you don’t dictate to them.” I said softly. “When you decided this was what you wanted, you were dictating to me the terms of our relationship. I’m not stupid enough to let you turn our relationship into a one-way street.”
“I didn’t… that’s not what I wanted to do!” He protested.
“It’s what you did.” I replied. “If you wanted to make it a one-way street, well two can play that game, Davey. I love you, I love you a lot, but that love does not give you the right to treat me like a doormat.”
“You still love me?” He asked with a look of hope.
“I will love you until the day I die, and probably even beyond that if there’s a way.” I said to him with all my heart.
“But you’re still not going to take me back?” He asked.
“Not like this, no.” I said. “I’m sorry Davey, I’d be willing to come up with something to work around your fears with your parents, but I won’t be dictated to, and that’s what you wanted.”
“So, if I said it differently we could still work things out?” He asked hopefully.
“Not at this point.” I said with a sad shake of my head. “Maybe back when this all began. No, don’t say anything. I made a couple of mistakes too, like that trip to the mall. It takes two to tango, and we were both ready to dance. But, now we’ve made our beds, separately, and we’ll have to live with them.”
“I don’t want a life without you.” He said miserably.
“But you put your mother and family as being more important.” I said simply. “I understand that, Davey, I really do. They mean more to you than anything else, including your own life. That’s fine, really, if you want to live your life as a slave to their expectations, their goals, and their desires, that’s your prerogative. Just don’t expect me to go along for the ride.”
“I…” He started to say before he fell silent.
“Goodbye, Davey.” I said before turning and heading back to my car. It had a feeling of finality to it, and my eyes were clouded with tears by the time I pulled out of the driveway and headed home. When I saw Todd’s car already there waiting for me, it was actually a relief, and he followed me inside the empty house without bothering to say a word. He’d seen the look on my face, and knew I’d spend the next thirty minutes with his arms wrapped around me while I soaked his shirt with more tears.
It had happened often enough, and we didn’t even bother going further in the house than the entryway before I bent over and cried into his shoulder. He was a lot shorter than me, which meant that by the time I was done, my neck and back was sore, but I was grateful.
When his lips locked on mine as I tried to straighten up, I was caught totally by surprise. Sure, I knew he still carried a torch for me, but he’d never tried this before. Still, there was something in that touch, that kiss that lit a fire inside me. I had been without this since Davey and I had… broken up, and it felt good as we kissed. Not nearly as good as Davey, but still…
“No.” I said as I finally broke away from the kiss.
“No, what?” Davey’s harsh voice surprised me and I turned to see him standing inside the doorway, a look of anger and pain on his face.
“Oh shit.” Todd said softly, moving out of my embrace even as I stepped back as well.
“So, I thought you said the two of you weren’t more than friends.” Davey snarled at me as anger totally replaced the look of hurt. “It’s nice to know I can be as stupid as my mother when it comes to believing the men I love.”
“Davey, it’s not like that.” Todd said before I could even think of a single thing to say. “I kissed him. It was the first time!”
“How was it?” Davey snarled his question at me as he clenched and unclenched his fists.
“Not the same.” I said with a sad look at him. “I’m sorry Todd, but I don’t love you.”
“It was worth a try.” Todd said with a shrug. “But then, I didn’t expect to get caught by him.”
“Of course you didn’t.” Davey sneered. “Why should I come over here anymore? Tell me Todd, how much of this has been your idea?”
“Davey, stop that.” I said sharply. “We’ve got enough problems between us that you don’t need to make new ones.”
“Yeah, well I was coming over to see if that offer of always having a place to stay here still stood, but I don’t know now.” Davey snarled again. “I don’t know if I can stand to see all of our friends trying to get down your pants.”
“Like you expected me to stand around and watch all those girls do the same to you?” I snapped back at him before the import of his words hit me. “What do you mean if you could stay here?”
“Mom’s kicked me out.” Davey snapped with a look of hurt.
“Why would she do that?” Todd asked with a perplexed look.
“Because I’m a fucking pervert as bad as my father.” Davey snarled angrily, but there were tears in his eyes.
“What happened?” I asked with real concern as my anger washed away in the blink of an eye. I took a step towards him, and he responded by stepping towards me before he fell into my arms, crying on my shoulders. It was a long time before he could make any sounds that were intelligible. Todd helped me guide Davey towards a couch, and got a box of tissues for Davey to blow his nose once he calmed down.
“She confronted me after you left.” Davey said softly as he clutched my hand. We were now sitting side-by-side with Todd in a chair across from us.
“About what?”
“About you, about me, about what I did to keep you away.” Davey said sadly. His shoulders shook a bit more, and his voice was quivering. “She kept harping on me in front of Riley and Heather and Jennifer. I snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I told her, right there in front of everyone.”
“You what?” Todd gasped in shock while I blinked. Yes, trust Davey to let his anger get the best of him and tell everything, or nearly everything.
“I told her.” Davey said with a rueful chuckle. “I told her that Brian and me had been a couple, as in lovers, that we loved each other. Then I told her that after I heard her talk about Sean that way that I knew she’d never accept us, so I broke things off and started dating girls to make her happy, but that I’d never sleep with any of them because I loved Brian.”
“Holy shit.” Todd said with a hint of respect in his voice. “What happened then?”
“Heather slapped me.” Davey chuckled but he was on the verge of tears still and he squeezed my hand tightly. “Riley just shook his head and the three of them left before my mom started to tear into me. You know, she has no problem believing I’m a ‘fucking pervert’, but she says I seduced Brian, turned him into a pervert and she’s going to warn Brenda to keep me away from him. Then she kicked me out. Told me to pack my car with stuff and get the fuck out of there. Last I heard, she was on the phone to Nanny and Papa after she called Dad and blamed him for perverting their son.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Todd muttered while I pulled Davey into me closer.
“I’m so sorry, Davey.” I said softly.
“It’s not your fault.” Davey said with a sigh. “I don’t know why I thought pretending would fix anything. All it did was make her madder when she found out. I think that’s what she’s so angry about, not that I’m gay so much as the fact that I lied about it to her all this time. Imagine if it had been years and years of my lying to her before she found out.”
“Oh believe me, it would have been bad.” I chuckled softly.
“The other me tell you about that?” Davey asked and then he looked at Todd for a moment. “You said you told him, right?”
“That he’s some weird kind of time-traveler and really a perverted old man in a young body?” Todd asked rhetorically. “Yeah, he told me. I told him he was wasting his second youth. He should be out there screwing everything in sight that he knew would bend over instead of pining after… oh, um, sorry.”
“I… I thought the same thing at first.” Davey said with a blush. “Sometimes I wonder if he’d have been better off without me in his life.”
“No, never that.” I said with a shudder as I remembered Davey telling me about that life in another timeline.
“So, my other self, he told you about her finding out one time?” Davey asked with a little half-smile.
“I can tell you later.” I said.
“Is it funny?” He asked.
“Yes.” I answered. “C’mon Davey, you know your life. Do you think the story would be anything but funny?”
“I need to hear it, please?” Davey asked in a needy voice and I had to sigh before giving in to him. I should still be angry at him, part of me said, but I loved him.
“It was in the original timeline.” I began to tell him a story of an alternate version of his life. “You’d joined the Navy after dropping out of Downey. Three years later you were in the Gulf War.”
“Gulf war?” Todd asked.
“Yeah, in 1990 Saddam Hussein, the leader of Iraq invades Kuwait and we not only stop him there, but kick his ass back to Baghdad.” I answered. “So anyway, on the way back, this ship you were assigned to stopped in Hawaii. You flew your boyfriend, Keith, out to see you there, planning to spend a whole week on that tropical island with him.”
“Sounds fun.” Todd murmured a little jealously.
“How’d I afford that?” Davey asked.
“You saved up a lot of money for him.” I answered with a shrug. “Anyway, two weeks before you pull into Hawaii, you call your mother from Hong Kong. Somehow her and Jenny scraped up enough money to go to Hawaii at the same time you were going to be there.”
“They didn’t know at the time, did they?” Davey asked and I grinned.
“That sucks.” Todd groaned. “Vacation ruined.”
“Yup.” I chuckled. “You spent the week trying to find time to have sex with your boyfriend you haven’t seen in six months. Your sister kept trying to trip him into her bed, and your mom wanted to spend every minute she could with you. Needless to say it was a very frustrating week for everyone. After it was over, you went back to San Diego where you were stationed, and you lived with him.”
“That must have been nice.” Davey said wistfully as he relaxed against me. It felt so natural for us to be like this.
“I’m sure it was.” I murmured. “Anyway, you were planning this big birthday party for your sister. Your family was all going to come down, and you hired caterers and everything. You told me you got a second job as a bouncer at a bar in order to get enough money to do all this. Then, the night before your sister and mother were to fly down, your mother called. There was another roommate you shared the apartment with besides your boyfriend, and his boyfriend answered the phone. When he told your mom you were at work, she asked for and got the number.”
“This doesn’t sound good.” Todd added.
“Nope.” Davey agreed, but he was smiling.
“Anyway, your mom called the bar, and got the answering machine.” I continued the story. “It said: Hi, you’ve reached Rich’s, the biggest Gay Bar in San Diego…”
“Hah!” Todd started laughing while Davey shook his head.
“What did she do?” Davey asked.
“She left a message.” I chuckled. “She said ‘Tell David Jones Jr. to call his mother this instant!’ It was an hour before he got the message and he rushed to a payphone to call her. The first words out of her mouth were “Are you fucking Keith?”
“No, he’s fucking me.” Davey muttered the punch line of his own story from a time he never knew, shocking me. “Well, that’s what I would say.”
“That’s what you did say.” I laughed softly and Todd shook his head. “It was months before the two of you ever talked again, but she called Keith each and every night for two weeks.”
“I wonder what ever happened to him?” Davey asked. “If I loved him, why wasn’t he around later when…”
“I asked about that.” I admitted. “He… he was partying with some guys and flew off to San Francisco with one of them who was really rich, and that was the last that Davey ever saw of him. Two months later, you moved back home with your mother to go back to college. Keith had taken all the money you’d saved up, and you didn’t have enough for rent, and by that time you were out of the Navy.”
“That sucks.” Todd shook his head. “I hope I end up with someone like Brian. He’d never do something like that.”
“But I would, I did.” Davey said glumly.
“Davey, there’s always a room here for you.” I said softly. “I don’t care if we’re talking or not, boyfriends or not, there is always a place here for you. My parents would kill me if I didn’t support that.”
“They’re probably as pissed at me as you are.” Davey said miserably.
“I certainly hope so.” I said with a laugh and he looked at me like I was insane.
“Doofus.” Todd said to him. “You don’t get it, do you? Brian’s saying he’s forgiven you.”
“You are?” Davey asked me and I nodded after a moment. “Why?”
“Because I love you, and, well, you came right to me after your mother kicked you out.” I said with a shrug. “You got kicked out because you told the truth about you and me, and the only reason to tell the truth would be because you want us to be back together.”
“You figured all that out, eh?” Davey asked with a shake of his head.
“Yeah, I did.” I acknowledged.
“So where do we go now?” Davey asked. “Shit, Heather! It’s going to be all over the school now.”
“You never do anything halfway.” Todd said with a grin. “It’s all or nothing with you.”
“Shut up.” Davey growled. “My god, we can’t go to school tomorrow! It’s Homecoming!”
“We will go, and I’ll be right there with you.” I assured him.
“Me too.” Todd added. “Oh, don’t glare at me like that, Davey. I like Brian a lot, maybe too much, but I know a lost cause when I see one. Without you in the picture I might have a chance, but if there’s even a hope of him being with you, he’ll never look at me as more than a friend.”
“Damn right about that.” I growled.
“Okay, fine, but I’ll be watching you, Todd.” Davey glared at his friend.
“Davey, Brian, are you in here?” Mom’s voice announced her arrival, and her worried tone said she’d spoken with Sandy already.
“We’re in here!” I half-yelled and she entered the room, stopping as soon as she saw Davey in my arms.
“Well, that’s at least one problem solved.” She said and then she looked at Todd with an inquiring look.
“I’m pissed that Brian’s not on the market anymore.” Todd said to her with a shrug, which was a little brave of him. He smiled when my mother shook her head at him.
“Brian, dear, do you have any boy friends who are actually straight?” Mom asked me with mock exasperation.
“Not that I can name off the top of my head, no.” I laughed.
“How are you holding up, dear?” Mom asked Davey as she reached the couch and put a hand on his shoulder.
“I’m better now than I have been in a long time.” Davey answered with a relieved sound. “I hate to have to ask this but…”
“We’ll get your room ready for you later tonight.” Mom said. “Sandy’s still in the yelling mood and won’t listen. I’m going to pick up Bev in the morning and we’re going to tag-team her. You won’t have to stay here for more than a day or two.”
“I’m sorry, Mrs. B.” Davey said softly.
“It’s Brian you need to apologize to, and those poor girls.” Mom answered him.
“The girls?” Davey asked with confusion.
“Yes, dear, those girls.” Mom said with a shake of her head. “You’re a smart enough young man to figure out why.”
“I used them.” Davey said after a moment. “I led them on, made them believe that more was possible than there really was.”
“Yes, dear, you did.” Mom’s tone made her feelings about that crystal clear.
“This is not going to be fun.” Davey said with a heavy sigh, causing Mom to chuckle a bit.
“Well at least things are back on the right track.” She said with a light tone before looking over at Todd. “You going to stay for dinner?”
“I better be getting home.” He said a little reluctantly. “I’ll see you two at school. This is going to be fun.”
“God I hope not.” Davey said miserably, but there was a little smile on his face as Todd left the house.
“Brian, your father should be home in time for dinner so we’ll fill him in on the day’s events then.” Mom said. “Why don’t you help Davey unload his car? It looks like it’s filled.”
“Okay mom.” I said. Davey and I got up then and started to unload his car. He’d packed it mostly with clothes, and a few other odds and ends, which made quite a pile on the bed in the guest room. We were taking in the last load when Dad’s car pulled up in the driveway. Davey and I paused as he got out of his car and looked at the two of us.
“Well, this is a surprise.” He said after a moment. “A pleasant one at that. I take it Davey’s finally come to his senses?”
“You might say that, and my Mom doesn’t want me around at the moment.” Davey said with a heavy sigh.
“Well, why don’t we all head inside and you can fill me in on the details?” Dad said in a kindly tone that seemed to relax Davey a bit. We finished telling the story over dinner, and Dad was just reiterating his support for Davey when there was a banging on the front door.
“That would probably be Pete.” Dad said with a wry chuckle as he got up. Sure enough, it was Davey’s grandfather who stormed in the house, glaring at Davey who was looking a little sheepish.
“What kind of tomfoolery are you getting yourself into now, boy?” Pete demanded angrily. “Your mother tells me you’ve gone and decided to be a pervert. You know your soul will burn in hell?”
“That’s enough of that, Pete.” Mom said sternly.
“Don’t give me no lip, Brenda.” Pete half-snarled. “You don’t know the bible. It says…”
“Judge not lest ye be judged.” Mom interrupted him, and for the next twenty minutes I learned something about my mother that I had never known before. She held her own against Pete, quoting a bible verse to counter every one he threw at her. Halfway through Pete relaxed from the angry stance he’d had to something more like his normal self. Finally, he just grunted at her.
“Well, we’ll know which of us is right on Judgment Day.” He said flatly before turning back to Davey. “You know I don’t approve of this no matter what she says.”
“I know.” Davey said in a firm voice. “I don’t tell you how to live your life, though, Papa.”
“Damn right you don’t.” Pete groused and then he nodded. “Fine, you’re going to do what you want to do. Just don’t make me ashamed to be related to you.”
“I won’t.” Davey said sternly and Pete nodded before turning to leave without saying another word.
“I have no idea what that means.” Davey admitted as the door closed behind his grandfather.
“It’s a start.” Mom said softly. “Don’t worry Davey. Your family will come around given time. If he didn’t care, he’d not have come here, and he’d not have stayed as long as he did, or left like that.”
“I hope you’re right, Mom B.” Davey said with a heavy sigh as he leaned against me.
“She is.” I assured him.
