Chapter 16
The silence in the room was deafening following Davey’s statement to his mother. The way she kept opening and closing her mouth made me think of a fish. My mother had gone pale, and Bev was staring at him with wide eyes. What surprised me the most was the calm look on Davey’s face. I had to wonder if he was going insane at that moment.
“What are you saying?” Sandy asked Davey at long last. Her voice was weak, and I thought she might be on the verge of passing out.
“If just being around Sean was a danger to me, then I must be a danger to Brian or anyone else I’m around, like Jenny for instance.” Davey said calmly and now I was growing more confused. What was the point he was trying to make?
“Huh?” Bev asked in a voice that sounded every bit as confused as I felt.
“What does Jenny have to do with this?” His mother asked sharply. Her temper was starting to flare up now.
“Look at what Dad did to her.” Davey said softly. “I’ve been around Dad all my life. I idolized him, and he was molesting her all those years.”
“That… that’s different.” Sandy said defensively. “That… what made your father do those things isn’t something you catch from just being around him.”
“But Sean being gay is something I can catch?” Davey asked with a slight tilt of his head.
“No, it’s not that.” His mother said defensively. “It’s the AIDS thing. You can catch that from him.”
“Then I shouldn’t be around you either.” Davey countered and her face flushed with more anger.
“Why do you say that?” She snapped.
“You’re just as much at risk as Sean is, well more really.” Davey said to her and she looked stunned. “Sean isn’t having sex with guys, which is how he’d catch it. You had two blood transfusions during your surgeries. Look at that Ryan White kid. That’s how he got it, from a blood transfusion.”
“I… how dare you?” She fumed, and she was starting to shake badly as she turned so she didn’t have to look at him.
“Mom, I’m sorry.” Davey said softly and she turned back to look at him. “I know you don’t like to think about that, but it was a danger they told you about before the surgery. I know it worries you, but it’s there. If Sean being gay isn’t what puts me in danger from being around him, and you say it’s AIDS, you have to admit that your surgery makes you every bit as much a danger.”
“It’s different.” She asserted.
“How?” He asked her softly.
“It just is.” She insisted, but she looked like she even knew the inanity of that argument.
“I know that Sean being gay isn’t something you like, Sandy, but isn’t it his life?” My mother said in a gentle voice.
“He’s Davey’s friend, Sandy.” Bev said softly. “I’ll admit, it doesn’t make me comfortable thinking about that… part of his life, but isn’t Davey the person who should decide if they stay friends or not? Davey’s almost an adult now, and he’s proven that he’s more than capable of acting like an adult.”
“I wonder about that sometimes.” Sandy muttered as she looked at her son.
“You don’t have to like him, Mother.” Davey said gently. “But he’s my friend and I’m not going to abandon him just because you don’t like him. If you don’t want him coming over here, fine. We’ll all go someplace else.”
“That’s reasonable.” My mother said at once. “There’s no reason you boys can’t come over to the house, or go somewhere else. We don’t have a pool, but there are plenty of other things to do.”
“I… I like having all of you come over here.” Sandy said defensively.
“Either all my friends are welcome, or we can go someplace else.” Davey said firmly, but still in a gentle tone. “It’s not fair to any of them to be excluded like that.”
“You’re really fine with Sean being a… homosexual?” Sandy asked my mother.
“I loved my brother very much, Sandy.” My mother said gently. “Most of our family rejected him, but despite that he was still there for me when I needed help the most. No one else from my family lifted a finger to help me, but he did. I gave him a chance, and what I found was that he wasn’t really all that different because he preferred men. He still wanted to love someone, and to be loved. It’s not like what you see on television, at those parades you know. I mean sure, some are like that, but most gay people I’ve known in my life aren’t really like that. It’s just the news shows those people because they’re so…”
“Outrageous.” I said when my mother faltered while looking for the right word. She nodded at me.
“If he tries anything, you’ll tell me, right?” Davey’s mother asked him gently as her shoulders sagged in defeat.
“Yes.” Davey promised and I sighed with relief of my own. For a moment, I had thought he had gone insane, but once again Davey had proved he could think better in tight situations than I could imagine.
“Fine, why don’t you and Brian go do something?” She said with an air of defeat while she looked at my mother. “Brenda, I think the three of us should talk.”
“Yes, we should.” My mother replied while Davey and I left their office. It struck me as odd that this was twice now, in two different timelines, that Sean’s father had caused an argument over his son to be fought out in this room. Davey sighed with relief as we headed up to his bedroom, not really saying anything until the door was shut and he was pulling me into a very tight hug.
“Jesus that was close.” He mumbled against me while I put my arms around him even as his shoulders began to shake with gentle sobs. We stood like that for a while, he and I standing with our arms wrapped around each other while he cried into my shoulder. Finally he stopped crying and pulled back while I lowered my arms to my side. He wiped his eyes and gave me a small smile. “Thanks.”
“Anything for you.” I said softly.
“Do you mean that, Brian?” He asked me and I nodded my reassurance. “Good. I almost fucked up there big time.”
“For a moment I thought you were going to tell your mother about us.” I said quietly and he chuckled softly while shaking his head.
“That’s what I was going to do until I saw her face.” Davey stated. “When I saw her face I knew it’d be a mistake so I made up that other shit.”
“That’s something I’ve always admired about you.” I told him. “You’re able to think so quickly on your feet like that. I’d have never been able to jump on that track about your father and her blood transfusion without having a lot of time to think about it first.”
“Thanks.” Davey said as his smile slipped. “So you’ll understand what needs to happen now.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked as a sliver of fear wormed its way to my gut. Where was his mind going now?
“You and me, we can’t keep doing this, at least for now.” Davey said with a frown and I felt like I wanted to start shaking as my stomach dropped to my feet. “We can be friends, but nothing more. She can’t have any reason to suspect us.”
“If you’re worried about her kicking you out…” I started to say but he shook his head.
“That’s not it.” He said sadly. “I know your parents would give me a place with them. It’d kill my mother though, if she knew. I can’t have her looking at me like that, thinking those things about me. We’ll still be friends, though, and maybe after high school, when we’re in college we can pick up where we left off, but I can’t do this.”
“You’re going to let your mother rule your life like this?” I asked him as my anger started to kick in and regretted it instantly.
“You just said you’d do anything for me.” He shot back angrily. “Were they just words or did you mean them? I’m not kicking you out of my life, I’m just saying we need to keep it at the level of just being friends. What, you can’t stand the thought of not having sex?”
“It’s not the sex I’m worried about, Davey.” I said sharply and he shook his head again.
“Then what are you worried about?” He asked.
“Davey, it’s wrong for you to put your life on hold for your mother and sister.” I argued.
“That’s what you think.” He said with a hurt tone. “Look, you’re the one who said you always have to think things through. Well, go think about this. You’ll figure out I’m right. All we’re stopping is the sex, and the hugging and kissing stuff. We’re still going to be friends, right?”
“Right.” I said with a heavy sigh. “I don’t like this Davey. What are you going to do next, date a girl?”
“I might have to do that.” Davey said with a shrug. “Mom and Nanny are always asking me when I’m going to get a girlfriend. Nanny keeps pushing this Julie girl at me. Her mother is a volunteer at the hospital with Nanny. She goes to our school, so maybe I can date her and throw them off the track.”
“She’s going to expect you to kiss her.” I warned him and he blushed.
“It won’t mean anything, Brian.” He said with a heavy sigh. “It’s just maintaining my cover.”
“I’m going to go.” I said abruptly as a feeling swept over me to get the hell out of there. The thought of Davey kissing anyone, whether he meant it or not, was too much for me to deal with right now.
“Brian, please…” Davey’s voice trailed off with a hurt tone and I turned back to look at him. There were fresh tears in his eyes, but then there were new ones in mine too. “Don’t be mad. Just think about it.”
“I will.” I said softly. “I’m not mad, though. I’m hurt, and I’m a little confused as to how you think this is best, but I’m not mad. I love you, Davey.”
“I know.” He said softly, looking down at his feet as I shut his bedroom door behind me and made my way out of the house. It was a good thing that I didn’t run into anyone on the way out because by the time I got into my car, I was bawling like a little child.
Several hours later my crying had turned into sniffling as I lay on my bed, clutching a pillow to my chest. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was going to lose Davey. No matter how similar this Davey was to the one I’d known and loved, even I had to admit they were very different people. My Davey had decades of experience this one didn’t have, and he’d told me the type of person he’d been at this age. How could I have been foolish enough to expect that this Davey would be faithful to me, would be willing to defy his family and risk their approval of him?
“Brian, are you in there?” Mom’s voice from the other side of my door forced me to push back a few more sniffles, wipe my puffed-up eyes and focus back on the present.
“I’m in here.” I said and was surprised at how much my voice shook.
“Is everything alright, dear?” She asked in a worried tone and before I could say anything, she opened the door and took a very long look at me. “I thought something was up from the way you stormed out of there, and now I have a better idea of what’s going on.”
“You do?” I asked in surprise.
“What has Davey done now?” She asked with a sigh. “I swear, sometimes that kid can get as mixed up as his mother and grandmother. Does this have something to do with that Julie girl he’s supposed to be meeting for dinner tonight?”
“Huh?” I mumbled in surprise as my heart dropped back down into my stomach again. Yep, that was Davey alright. Once he made a decision, he moved forward with it at full speed, and damn any of the consequences.
“I was wondering why he was calling a girl to go out.” Mom said sadly. “Let me guess, he doesn’t want his mom to figure out about you two so he’s going to date this Julie girl. Do I have that about right?”
“Yes.” I mumbled with a shake of my head.
“Did you tell him how messed up that was and how much heartache it could cause?” She asked me.
“No, not really.” I admitted softly. “I told him I don’t like it…”
“Brian, for a guy who supposedly had experienced having grandchildren, you can spend a lot of time thinking like an ordinary teenager.” Mom said in an exasperated tone.
“I’m not good at reacting to surprises.” I muttered miserably. He was already going out with Julie? A fresh batch of tears welled up in my eyes.
“Oh my poor Brian.” Mom said sympathetically as those tears dribbled down my cheeks. She crossed the rooms and took me into her arms, where I cried hard enough to soak her blouse. I cried like that for a while, and when I slowed down, she started to dab my cheeks with a handkerchief. “Why don’t you go wash up while I start dinner. Don’t worry about Davey. We’ll all start working on talking some sense into him.”
“Thank you, Mom.” I said, grateful once again to have my parents around. No matter how old I ever got, they were always a source of comfort and support for me.
Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well that night, and the next day was a rough one for me. Trevor and Brandon showed up at my house, but they were surprised when I showed no interest in going over to Davey’s, or in doing anything else really. All I wanted to do was mope around for the day. They left after barely an hour, leaving me alone to work out on the weight machine that I had barely used in the last few months.
We’d been using the sets at Davey’s.
“What the hell is going on?” Todd’s voice interrupted me as he stormed onto the back patio just after noon.
“What do you mean?” I asked him in a quiet voice.
“I mean what’s up with you and Davey?” Todd spat back angrily. “He’s got some stupid girl named Julie over there making calf eyes at him and you’re nowhere around. His mom’s treating her like she’s the future daughter-in-law!”
“Oh, Davey decided he’d rather pretend to be straight.” I muttered and Todd’s mouth hung open for a long time. For some reason that put a small smile on my face.
“What are you smiling about?” Todd finally demanded. “You should be over there telling him he’s being an idiot!”
“I was wondering if a fly really would fly into your mouth.” I chuckled and he shook his head.
“Don’t change the subject.” He said sharply. “What are you going to do about that idiot? He’s already kissed her in front of everyone!”
“He has?” I asked as my heart sank again. That was getting to be all too familiar a feeling.
“Yes.” Todd said with disgust.
“Then I guess he and I really are over.” I mumbled and Todd crossed his arms.
“You’re only over if you let him do this stupid shit.” Todd said with determination and his foot was tapping on the cement. “Now I’ll ask it again, what are you going to do to stop his idiocy? He doesn’t belong with her, he belongs with you. Then again, if you’re available now, I think I might try pursuing you. You make a good boyfriend.”
“I’m honored.” I said with a mocking bow of my head. “Sorry, Todd. You’re a good friend, but I’m not interested in you that way.”
“Your loss.” Todd shrugged. “Do you want Davey back?”
“Don’t be stupid, of course I do.” I growled. “He’s mine.”
“Then you got to get him back.” Todd said as he started to pace. “Now, Davey’s as stubborn as his damn mother, so just talking to him won’t do any good. You’re going to have to make him jealous. I know! You can pick a girl and start dating her! Kiss her in front of him and let him see how it feels!”
“I’m not going to lead some poor girl on that way.” I said with determination.
“Well then, how about another guy?” He asked. “It’d have to be someone we already know, and you’ll have to do it carefully so no one outside our group knows. I see two choices, really. Me or Trevor.”
“Why you or Trevor?” I asked with real curiosity.
“Well, after they saw that there was a girl around, Brandon and Sean took off together.” Todd said with a sly grin. “I think they’re really hitting it off good.”
“Good for them.” I said with genuine feeling. “I’m not sure about this jealousy thing though. It could really backfire.”
“It won’t.” Todd said quickly.
“You’d be willing to do this for me?” I asked him with a little surprise.
“In a heartbeat.” Todd smiled. “Although if it was real, it’d be even better. You’re a good guy, Brian. But, if I can’t be your boyfriend I’ll take being your friend that helps you out whenever you need it.”
“We don’t need to take it that far!” I said quickly as my cheeks blushed.
“I know.” Todd teased me. “Davey doesn’t need to know that until later, though, right?”
“No, no he doesn’t.” I agreed and Todd held out his hand. We shook then and he gave me a simpering glance.
“So, should we practice kissing just to make it look real?” He asked with a hopeful tone.
“Not just yet.” I said sternly. Now I had butterflies in my stomach. Part of me said this was stupid, that it could backfire so easily, but I also knew Davey and I didn’t want him sticking his dick in some girl just to secure his cover with his mother.
It was three more days before I saw Davey again. After the second day where it was becoming evident Julie was a semi-permanent fixture, along with three of her girlfriends, everyone started meeting over at my house. >From there we’d go and do whatever we felt like that day, without Davey.
The phone rang one morning, just after Mom had left for Sandy’s house and Dad had headed off to his work. I picked it up, and pretty much regretted it instantly when I heard Davey’s voice on the other line. Part of me wanted to hang up at his cheerful tone, but I didn’t.
“What do you want?” I asked a little more harshly than I should have.
“I… I want to see you.” Davey replied in a slightly weak voice. “I miss having you and the guys around. Did you tell them not to come over anymore?”
“No.” I answered immediately. “Davey, they can’t be themselves with your… girlfriend and her friends around so they go where they’re more comfortable.”
“So you didn’t tell them to stay away from me?” He asked plaintively.
“No.” I replied. “I wouldn’t do something like that.”
“Can we do something today?” He asked me in what was almost a whine. “I miss you already.”
“What do you want to do?” I asked as the desire to see him overcame my anger for a moment.
“We could go to the mall.” He said in a slightly happier tone. “Julie’s birthday is next weekend and I was thinking of getting her a necklace.”
“Let me get this straight.” I said sharply as anger welled up inside of me. “You want to take the guy you dumped because your mother might guess we were a couple, and have him go with you to buy a necklace for some bimbo you’re seeing?”
“Julie’s not a bimbo.” Davey said defensively.
“No, I guess she’s not, but then neither am I.” I practically yelled into the phone before slamming it down. For several minutes I fumed, cussing out Davey and his idiotic thinking before deciding I really did need to do something. Trevor was doing something with his father today. Brandon was with his siblings and had Sean over, so that left Todd, whose crazy idea wasn’t sounding so bad just about now.
“Hello?” Todd said as I called his number.
“Hey, it’s Brian.” I said in a neutral tone.
“Yo, dude, what’s up?” He asked in a happier tone.
“I was wondering if you wanted to do something today.” I sort of asked him.
“Uh, yeah, I was just sitting around.” He replied. “I’ve got the day off.”
“Cool, how about I pick you up?” I asked. “About an hour?”
“Fine by me.” He said happily and I hung up the phone. Almost exactly an hour later I was showered, shaved, and wearing a pair of khaki pants with one of my tightest blue t-shirts.
“Where to?” He asked me as he got into the mustang.
“How about the mall?” I asked with a perverse idea. Davey would probably be there, and even though I knew better, I wanted him to see me there with Todd.
“Fine by me.” Todd said. “So, you hear from Davey lately?”
“Yeah.” I said as my good mood evaporated.
“Oh, how’d that go?” He asked.
“He accused me of telling you guys to stay away from him.” I started off and Todd shook his head. “I told him you guys probably just weren’t comfortable with his girl and her friends there.”
“That’s for sure.” Todd grumbled. “So, do you think Sean and Brandon are going to hook up?”
“It’d be nice.” I answered. “You think they’ve actually done anything yet?”
“They’ve fooled around.” Todd said with a shake of his head. “Sean spent the next day praying on his knees for forgiveness, but as soon as Brandon called him he went right over. That boy is still mixed up in the head.”
“Yeah, well, he has us to support him.” I stated.
“Yup.” Todd agreed as he smiled at me again. “You think anymore about my idea?”
“Yeah, I thought about it.” I said with a sigh.
“And?” Todd asked with a tilt of his head.
“Davey asked me to go to the mall with him to help him pick out a necklace for Julie.” I said sourly.
“That stupid son of a bitch!” Todd exclaimed and then he started laughing. “We’re going to the mall, right?”
“Yup.” I answered with a knowing grin.
“You can be an evil man, Brian.” Todd smirked as he reached across the seat to rub my leg.
“Todd, don’t take it too far.” I warned him with a little growl.
“I know, I know.” Todd said with a shake of his head. “Just remember, if Davey never fucking wakes up and smells the coffee, you’ve got lots of options.”
“I know, and I appreciate that, Todd.” I said with a sideways glance at him. “I like you. You’re a good guy, but I don’t feel that way about you. Maybe we shouldn’t do this. You’ll only end up getting hurt.”
“No, I won’t.” Todd said with a slightly pained expression. “Yeah, it’ll suck if it works and you two get back together, but for a little while at least I can pretend, and maybe I’ll have an idea about what it’ll be like when I do meet someone as nice as you.”
“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I said a little fiercely and he smiled as we pulled into the parking lot of the mall. Vintage Fair mall hadn’t been remodeled since it was built in the 1970’s, and still reflected some of the psychedelic décor of that time period. It’d be another fifteen years before it was remodeled and would get stores like Abercrombie & Fitch, or Hollister. Many of the same jewelry stores were there, and I couldn’t help but stop and point out a nice gold chain meant for a man to Todd.
“I like that one.” He said to me just as Davey walked up to us. I’d noticed him on the other side of the mall and he’d been watching us as we went up to the jewelry store.
“Is this why you wouldn’t come with me?” Davey snarled without any preamble and I turned to see him with a face reddened by his anger. “You decided to get yourself a new boy-toy and you’re going to buy him something now?”
“What does it matter to you if he is?” Todd snarled back. “You’re the one who broke things off with him so you could pretend with that Julie girl.”
“Don’t get in the middle of this.” Davey snarled at him while I looked around to see if anyone was close enough to hear us.
“Davey, you might want to be careful or someone will hear us.” I said calmly.
“You know what, fuck you Brian Breckenridge.” Davey snarled.
“Not anymore.” I growled back at him and he stepped back while his eyes widened and Todd chuckled.
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“C’mon, Davey, you know exactly what I mean.” I told him. “It didn’t take you long to go from just using her as a cover to kissing her all over the place. Sean told me how she had her hand down your bathing suit the other day.”
“I didn’t want her to do that!” Davey snarled defensively. “I told her to take it out as soon as it happened!”
“No you didn’t.” Todd sneered. “You waited at least a minute until you noticed other people were seeing it happen.”
“We used to do that stuff all the time and no one ever thought it was a big deal.” Davey said defensively.
“You’re right, you can do it all you want.” I snarled at him, finally letting the anger I was feeling really vent out. “Just don’t expect me to sit around and wait for you to get bored.”
“I thought you said you’d always love me.” He almost whined.
“I will always love you, Davey.” I answered honestly, meeting his hurt gaze with a hurt gaze of my own. “What you have to understand is that I don’t have to live my life with you even though I love you. Sure, I wanted to live my life with you, but, you know, I don’t know if you’re worth it.”
“What?” Davey nearly shrieked. “You come back in time for me and don’t think I’m worth it anymore?”
“Huh?” Todd said in confusion and I stared at Davey as realization dawned on his face.
“It’s a private joke.” Davey temporized quickly and Todd shook his head in confusion. “Brian told me one time he’d even come back in time for me if he had to.”
“You guys can have some weird conversations, or at least you used to have them.” Todd said with a shake of his head.
“Shut up, dirtbag.” Davey told him sharply. “You couldn’t even wait a week before trying to sink your claws in Brian.”
“Why not, you took less time than that to dump him for some cunt.” Todd sneered and Davey lashed out with a fist, catching Todd in the stomach and doubling him over.
“That’s not what I did.” Davey said fiercely, but his eyes were pleading with me. “I have to do this. You understand, don’t you, Brian?”
“I understand why you want to, but I don’t understand why you are stupid enough to think it’s the right thing to do.” I countered him while reaching out to support Todd who was clutching his gut. “I also don’t understand why you think it’s okay to hit Todd. I thought you were better than that.”
“Maybe I’m just a stupid kid without decades and decades of growing up.” Davey sneered and I gave him a narrowed-eye look before shaking my head.
“C’mon Todd, let’s get you out of here.” I said sadly as I walked away, supporting Todd and not even looking back at Davey Jones.
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